Friends,
I started the blog eight years ago when a faith mentor suggested that as an aspiring educator who had cerebral palsy I had a story of hope that needed to be shared. I was hesitant. She promised it didn’t matter if I hadn’t found a classroom yet— creating the blog would give me an outlet to share my passion and perspective with others. It would let me be a voice of hope while I took steps to become a teacher.
I started to write. There are stories from my life as a student, wisdom from volunteering, lessons from student teaching, and my personal favorite, reflections on teaching & life. I write as a hobby. I write because a handful of people think that my thoughts are valuable. The thoughts in my head cannot help others if I keep them to myself. I write to be a source of hope.
The older I become the more I understand that hope is in short supply. Sometimes, I’m worried that even my hope has dwindled too much. Most of us find hope in human connection. We learn that it’s polite to ask others about how they feel. It’s a common question, “How are you today?” The intention behind the question is to help someone feel acknowledged. It doesn’t work. Further still, it might be the question that’s keeping our hope in short supply.
It has become so common to be asked about our feelings that most of us have formulated our answer well ahead of time. We live in a world where everyone is good and everything is fine – even when it’s not. The question:" How are you?" is such a frequent conversation starter that many people don’t stop to consider how complex sharing our feelings can be. It’s difficult to be honest about our emotions and experiences because we don’t want to be judged or misunderstood. We ‘ve taught ourselves to be fine so when we don’t feel fine it’s uncomfortable.
Creating connection and trust doesn't come from sharing our emotions. It stems from creating common ground. Specific questions help us better understand each other. The right questions help us focus on specific emotions and experiences. For instance, If you want someone to feel encouraged by your conversation you might ask : "What was the best part of your day?" It might take some thinking but, we’ve created an opportunity to notice good and hopeful things. On occasion, our questions might not have answers. It happens. It is important to understand that attempting to create connections doesn’t mean we can fix an individual's circumstances. Asking more intentional questions simply gives us a better opportunity to empathize with others. It creates space for us to listen and learn. Direct and intentional questions allow us to gently expose that there is more emotional depth to our lives even when fine is the status quo.
Connecting with others is what makes life meaningful. Yet, there are certain seasons of life when our hearts and minds aren’t prepared to share or analyze our emotions. Some days I’m thankful for the word fine. Connecting with others isn’t always about asking the right question or giving the best advice. Sometimes it’s about simple reminders. Remind people you Love them. Remind people you are Grateful for them. Remind people you are Proud of them. The more people hear those reminders the more we will believe them. The more we believe in ourselves the less we hesitate to share the experiences that have shaped us. Vulnerability produces hope. Hope reminds us that life can be beautiful and uncertain all at once.
Stay Hopeful,
Julie
